


Everything I could’ve wanted

by PhoenixAD



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29015097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixAD/pseuds/PhoenixAD
Summary: Based on a Tumblr prompt.“You’re everything I could’ve wanted and more.”
Relationships: Sylvie Brett & Matthew Casey, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128581
Comments: 21
Kudos: 85





	Everything I could’ve wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt, “You’re everything I could’ve wanted and more.”
> 
> It was meant to be fluff, but uh... turned out as angst with a happy ending.

“Maybe you should go home, Case.” Kelly suggested as we sat at the bar at Molly’s. “Sitting here pretending you’re not looking over there every ten seconds is getting a little sad.” 

I glanced over to the table where Sylvie was sitting, the Lieutenant from Engine 40 across from her, as she laughed; she reached up and brushed her hand through her hair, and I looked away. 

Kelly was right; this  _ was  _ pretty pathetic. 

“How the hell did I get here? Two weeks ago, we were laughing on her couch playing board games, and now she won’t hardly speak to me.” We had spoken only about work since the day she walked out of my office after asking for space, and even that, it was only when it was a necessity. “And she’s over there with Grainger.” 

I said the Lieutenant’s name like it left a sour taste in my mouth; I knew Greg was a nice enough guy, but as much as I fought against it, the resentment and jealousy towards the man Sylvie was smiling at wouldn’t go away. 

“Don’t look at me, man.” Kelly sighed. “Two weeks ago I was in a happy relationship and now I’m miserable.” 

“We’re quite the pair.” I sighed, picking up my beer. 

“A pair of idiots.” 

He was right; we were both idiots. He hadn’t brought up whatever had led to Stella storming out of the apartment the other day and slamming the door so hard that the walls shook, but he’d spent the last few nights off shift drowning his sorrows and staring at Stella while she worked, so he was obviously blaming himself. 

I glanced towards Sylvie’s table again, surprised to see her pulling her coat on; I watched her stand up and forced my eyes back to the screen above the bar as she went to hug Grainger. I had no desire to see that. 

I could only keep my eyes on the screen for a few seconds before I looked away, looking for her, surprised to find her looking at me as she walked towards the exit, but she glanced away as soon as I met her eyes. 

Finishing the last of my beer in a hurry, I stood up; respecting her wish for space was impossible, I  _ had  _ to talk to her. 

Following her out of the bar, she was a few feet ahead of me on the sidewalk by the time I stepped out of Molly’s. 

“How did we get here?” I watched Sylvie’s footsteps falter before she completely stopped walking. “And how do we get back to how it was before?” 

“I don’t know.” Sylvie turned towards me, but left the gap between us as crossed her arms over her chest; I didn’t step closer, afraid she’d just turn and walk away. “I wish I knew how to go back, but I’m not sure it’s possible.” 

“Then how do we move forward? I need you in my life, Sylvie. You’re one of my best friends, and I want you to be more than that, but if friendship is all I can get from you, then that’s better than this.” 

Being just her friend sounded like setting myself up for a lifetime of wondering _ what if _ . No, wondering what if would’ve been if we’d never kissed; I could’ve lived with that. But now I knew. I knew what I would be missing. I was already missing it. 

The past two weeks of only seeing her at work, or from across a crowded bar, had been some of the most bleak days of my life; Sylvie was sunshine in human form, and she was missing from my life, and it was dark. 

“I don’t know.” Sylvie blinked, and I knew she was blinking away tears, and shook her head. “All I know is right now I look at you and I feel... all this uncertainty.” 

“About what?” I stepped forward, but she took a step backwards, so I stopped. “I can’t fix this if you won’t tell me what’s bothering you.” 

“Uncertainty about how to move forward, about how you feel about me. And I can’t deal with that. I can’t be with someone and spend my life wondering if I’m their second choice, or if you’re settling for me because you can’t have her.” Sylvie wiped at her eyes. “I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I’m not enough for people, but I won’t with you. I won’t spend my life wondering if I’m the one you really want. I can’t.” 

I was floored; _ not enough?  _ Sylvie Brett was more than enough. 

She was...  _ everything _ . 

The moment I’d seen ambulance 61 crashed in that embankment had confirmed that for me; she wasn’t someone I could lose. Just the idea of losing her had caused me so much panic and fear that I knew exactly how much she meant to me. Any shred of denial I had clung to for months was long gone. 

Sylvie shook her head; I knew she was taking my stunned silence the wrong way, but I’d already said the wrong things too many times. I had to choose my words more carefully to get my feelings across to her. 

“Goodnight, Matt.” Sylvie turned, and all but ran towards her car. 

“Sylvie, wait!” 

She didn’t pause, climbing into her car, and speeding away, leaving me standing on the sidewalk in front of Molly’s in stunned silence. 

* * *

Making my way down the hall towards Sylvie’s apartment was almost a sense of déjà vu, but I was determined it was going to end better this time; I’d stood out in front of Molly’s for all of a minute before getting in my truck and coming straight here. 

I knocked on the door, and she pulled it open a few seconds later; it was no surprise to see me here this time. 

Sylvie wiped at her eyes. “Matt.” 

“You’re absolutely not a second choice. I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise.” I reached for her hand, expecting her to pull away, but she let me hold it. “You’re more than enough, Sylvie, you’re everything I could’ve wanted and more. You’re the one I want to be with, there’s nobody else in the world that comes close to you.”

I ran my thumb over her cheek, wiping away a few stray tears; the tears had, thankfully, stopped. “Give me, give us, a chance, Sylvie.”

Sylvie’s eyes brightened, and her lips turned upward into a smile; it was a very welcome sight and change from the past two weeks. I could feel the tension in my body disappearing at the sight. 

Unlike the first time she kissed me, this time, I didn’t freeze; this night would go nothing like that one. 

* * *

“Matt.” Sylvie’s sleepy voice made me smile. “We gotta get up. If you need to go home and get ready for shift, we gotta get up.” 

“I’ve got clothes in my truck. Saves some time and gives us at least half an hour before we gotta get out of this bed.” 

“Good.” She yawned as she moved closer, resting her head on my chest. “I’m not ready to get up and face the real world just yet.”

“You make going to work sound very ominous.” I laughed, wrapping my arm around her. 

“No, I just keep thinking last night was some kind of dream and I haven’t woken up yet.” She pressed a kiss against my jaw. “Even though I don’t think my imagination is quite that vivid.” 

“Not a dream.” I laughed. “Because I know my imagination isn’t that vivid.” 

Sylvie propped herself up on my chest, a smile on her face. “Thank you for what you said last night. It was... exactly what I needed to hear.” 

“It was all true.” I promised, reaching out to brush a few strands of hair out of her face. “There was something you said last night I want to come back to, though.” 

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What did I say last night?” 

“Something about having spent most of your life feeling like you weren’t good enough.” 

Sylvie sighed. “I was being dramatic and emotional.” 

“You wouldn’t have said it if you hadn’t meant it.” 

“I don’t know. I guess growing up adopted, you wonder why your birth parents didn’t want you, you blame yourself. It’s not logical, but when you’re a kid, it doesn’t matter.” Sylvie bit her lower lip. “Meeting Julie helped that a lot. I get she did that for me, she loved me and wanted the best for me. But as a kid, yeah, it messed with me. Then came Harrison... Harrison’s favorite hobby was making me feel like nothing I ever did was enough.” 

I vaguely remembered her first fiancé showing up at 51 shortly after she had come to Chicago; I’d been too wrapped up in other stuff to give him much thought other than thinking he seemed like an ass for making a scene in the common room. 

“Then he was an idiot and a jerk.” I had a few other harsher words I wanted to call him, but he wasn’t the point of the conversation. “Anybody that would make you feel like you’re anything less than amazing is somebody you shouldn’t give a second thought to. You are one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met, Sylvie Brett. I’m going to make sure you always know that.” 

“I love you.” Her eyes widened at her own words, as if she hadn’t meant to say them. “I, uh, probably shouldn’t have said that so soon. Please don’t feel obligated to say them back.” 

“Okay, I won’t feel obligated.” I grinned. “But I love you too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first prompt I received, but I've got several more waiting to be written, so I plan to make a series on here for them. They won't be connected at all, but it seems like the most orderly way to post them. 
> 
> [This is the prompt list. Feel free to send me one on Tumblr or Twitter](https://atiredfangirl.tumblr.com/post/641389975577018368/prompt-list-1) I'm @chifirefangirl on twitter!


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